Table of Contents
You see it, don’t you? That glazed-over look in folks’ eyes, the way their thumb keeps twitching, even when there ain’t a phone in sight. Or maybe you feel it yourself, this quiet hum of something… off. I’ve been around newspaper desks for a good long while, seen fads come and go, watched the world spin faster than a politician changing his tune. And what I’m seeing now, what’s brewing, I’ve given it a name: ‘erothtos’.
Now, it ain’t in any dictionary, not yet anyway. But it’s a real enough thing, as real as the ache in my knees after a long day chasing a story. Erotthos, for my money, is that low-grade hum of existential yearning, that restless search for a connection that just never quite lands, all tangled up with the digital circus we live in. It’s the exhaustion from the endless scrolling, the swiping, the liking, all designed to make you feel closer, but somehow just leaves you feeling a bit… empty. Like you’ve eaten a whole bag of crisps when you really needed a proper meal, you know? It’s that yearning for something profound, something real, something that sticks, in a world that’s built for fleeting glances and disposable moments. And if you’re sitting there thinking, “Aye, that sounds like me,” then welcome to the club, mate. We’ve got badges. Probably digital ones.
I remember back when I started, if you wanted to know what your cousin was up to in bloody Swansea, you wrote a letter. Or you picked up the dog and bone and made a call, probably timed it, too, if it was long-distance. Took effort. It meant something. Now? I can see what Brenda from Dudley had for her breakfast on Instagram, even if I haven’t spoken to the woman in twenty years. And truth be told, I don’t really care about Brenda’s avocado toast, do I? But there it is, shoved in my face, along with a thousand other bits of curated, polished, often outright fake ‘life’. That’s the start of erothtos, that constant, low-level buzz of other people’s perceived perfection, chipping away at your own sense of contentment. It’s like living in a massive, noisy pub, always straining to hear one voice, but getting drowned out by the racket. And deep down, we’re all just looking for someone to actually talk to.
The Great Digital Mirage: Why We’re All a Bit Lost
You ever scroll through old photos, not the filtered, posed ones, but the grainy, real ones? Maybe from a family barbecue in Texas, or a rainy day out in the Valleys. There’s a certain light in people’s eyes then, isn’t there? A genuine presence. Now, everyone’s posing for the camera that’s always on. We’re performing our lives, not living them. And that’s where the erothtos really sinks its teeth in. We’re so busy projecting this ideal version of ourselves, we forget what it’s like to just be. We put up a front, a facade of success, happiness, adventure, all while maybe, just maybe, feeling a bit crap on the inside. It’s a proper head-wrecker, that.
Think about it. We’re told we need to network, to build our ‘personal brand’, to be ‘visible’. What the hell does that even mean when you break it down? It means you gotta constantly be online, showing off, proving your worth. And for what? So some algorithm can decide if you’re popular enough? It’s a never-ending audition, and the judges are invisible, the rules keep changing, and the prize often feels like more of the same. I’ve watched young reporters come through, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready to change the world. A few years later, they’re still bright-eyed, but also glued to their phones, posting about their ‘wins’ and ‘learnings’. It’s bloody exhausting just watching it.
The Social Media Sickness: A Cure Worse Than the Disease?
Social media was supposed to connect us, right? Bring the world closer. What it’s done, I reckon, is make us crave a connection that’s fundamentally superficial. You’ve got a thousand ‘friends’ but how many of them would you call in the middle of the night if you truly needed help? Most people I know, myself included, have maybe a handful of folks they truly trust, truly lean on. The rest are just… noise. Digital acquaintances.
This constant performance creates a massive gulf between who we are and who we pretend to be. We see everyone else’s highlight reels, assume that’s their whole damn movie, and then we beat ourselves up for not having a life that looks as shiny. It’s a nasty cycle, and it just feeds that erothtos, that gnawing sense of not quite measuring up, of always being on the outside looking in, even when you’re supposedly ‘connected’. A proper mardy feeling, that.
Swipe Right, Feel Wrong: Modern Mating and the Emptiness
And don’t even get me started on dating apps. Talk about a prime breeding ground for erothtos. Remember the old days? You’d meet someone at a local pub, or through a friend, or maybe a dance. You’d actually talk to them, see how they moved, hear how they laughed. Now, it’s all about a few carefully selected photos and a witty bio. Swipe, swipe, swipe. It’s like shopping for a new toaster, only the toaster has feelings and a complicated past.
Is This Just Me, Or Is Everyone Feeling This?
It’s not just you, mate. Believe me. I hear it from younger folks, older folks, everyone in between. From the lads in Newcastle saying they can’t get a proper conversation going on these apps, to the folks down in Norfolk wondering where all the real connections went. We’re all in this boat, bobbing on a sea of digital noise, looking for land. This erothtos ain’t selective, it’s a widespread feeling, a quiet epidemic of lonely people connected by wires. The irony is so thick you could cut it with a knife, like a proper good steak.
You put all that effort into crafting a profile, sending a dozen messages, maybe even going on a few awkward dates, and half the time, it just fizzles. Or worse, you’re ‘ghosted’. Just… gone. No explanation. It’s dehumanizing, really. You’re not a person anymore, you’re just another profile, another option to be discarded with a flick of the thumb. That constant low-level rejection, the sheer volume of it, it builds up. It wears you down. And that’s pure erothtos right there – the yearning for genuine intimacy, repeatedly met with digital indifference.
The Echo Chamber and the Empty Promise
What about the news, eh? Used to be, you picked up the paper, read what was happening in the world. Now, it’s all tailor-made for you. Algorithms decide what you see, reinforcing what you already believe. It’s an echo chamber, and it makes you think everyone else thinks exactly like you do. Then you step outside that digital bubble and boom, you realize the world is a lot messier, a lot more varied, and sometimes, a lot more hostile than your curated feed suggests. That disconnect, that digital unreality slamming into the proper world, that’s another little spike of erothtos.
What About Online Dating, Does That Fit Here?
Absolutely it fits. It’s one of the biggest drivers of this erothtos I’m talking about. We’re convinced it’s the path to finding ‘the one’ because it offers infinite choice. But infinite choice often just means infinite indecision, and a constant feeling that there’s always something better just one more swipe away. It promises connection, but delivers commodification. You’re trying to find love, but it often feels like you’re just selling yourself, like you’re on some sort of digital cattle market. It strips away the magic, the serendipity of human interaction. It’s a proper drag, and it certainly leaves many feeling like they’re searching for something that just isn’t there, no matter how many profiles they scroll through.
Look, I’m not saying ditch all technology. That would be daft. We rely on it, even us old cynical types. But we gotta be aware of what it’s doing to us, what it’s taking away while it’s supposedly giving us so much. This erothtos, it’s not just a fancy word I made up. It’s a feeling many of us carry, a quiet despair born from living in a world that sells connection but often delivers isolation.
Finding the Off-Ramp: Real Talk, Real People
So, what’s a person supposed to do then? Just wallow in this digital melancholy? Nah, not my style. I’m a big believer in looking a problem square in the eye, even if it is a bit of a grim look back. The fix for erothtos, if there is one, ain’t in another app, or a new social platform. It’s in remembering what actually makes us feel good, what actually fills that void.
It’s about ditching the phone for a bit. Putting it away. Not just putting it face down on the table, but truly disconnecting. Go for a walk. Call up an old friend, one you haven’t seen in yonks, and have a proper chinwag, not a text exchange. Go to a local pub, a cafe, a community event. Look people in the eye. Ask how they are, and actually listen to the answer. It’s simple, almost too simple for our complex, over-stimulated brains to grasp. We’re always looking for the next big thing, the clever hack, when sometimes the answer is just plain old human interaction.
Is It Really That Simple?
Yeah, it is. And no, it isn’t. It’s simple in theory, but tough in practice, because we’ve built habits, see? We’re addicted to the dopamine hit of the ‘like’ or the notification. Breaking those habits, that’s the hard bit. It’s like trying to get a kid to eat sprouts when they’re used to chips. You know the sprouts are good for them, but the chips are just easier, aren’t they? But the truth is, the most meaningful connections, the ones that truly quell that erothtos, they don’t happen on a screen. They happen when you’re sharing a cuppa, or laughing over a daft story, or just sitting in comfortable silence with someone you care about. That’s where the real stuff is. That’s where you find something to lean on when the digital world starts to feel like it’s leaning on you.
It’s about making conscious choices. Choosing a proper conversation over a quick text. Choosing a real-life laugh over a laughing emoji. Choosing to be present, truly present, in whatever moment you’re in, rather than always looking over your shoulder for the next notification or the perfect photo op. The older I get, the more I realize that the simple things, the ones you can touch and feel and hear with your own ears, those are the things that actually count. The rest? Just noise. And if you ask me, that’s the only way to beat this erothtos thing. Turn off the noise, and start listening to the quiet hum of your own damn life.
